L's Dentist Issues
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: L is in pain from some unkown object lodged in his mouth...Much screaming, two bloody mouths, and a good deal of laughing gas later, and the team is ready for a nervous breakdown. 2-shot. Rated T for fun and blood! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **L's Dentist issues

**Reason: **It's my papi's birthday, and he don't like dentists. But I do.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note, nor do I own a golden spoon. (frowns at ugly silver-colored spoon in disappointment)

**Important Info:** Light and L are chained together in this one. Muhahahah!

**Warning:** Contains insanity and mentions of extreme loopiness. Perhaps slight slash unwanted by other party? Those easily disturbed by the weird and funny should definitely read. Hehehe! It is too much fun to write these….hehehhe…

_**L's Dentist Issues**_

_Subtitle: Laughing gas your booty off_

It was a Tuesday just like this one, except it was a week ago. Everyone at HQ was taking a coffee break, or as in L's case, a caramel-covered apple break. All were sipping/ slurping (Matsuda- do you have to ask?) away at their hot beverages, when they suddenly heard a muffled cry of pain that sounded like this:

"Aaaaahhhhhhieiieieieihhhhhh…..!" but more muffled.

All heads turned towards the source of the pained sound, and saw that none other than L, his eyes wide, teeth sunk wide into his caramel apple.

"Huh? What's wrong L?" Awiza asked unsurely while Matsuda nearly tripped over himself trying to get a better look at the distressed detective.

"Wufhra wooahaa raaaaa!" L mumbled past the apple, gesturing at it for emphasis.

Everyone blinked, unable to decipher L's apple-coded message.

L sighed noisily past the apple, then moved to his computer, sat down and typed on a Word document: _The apple is stuck in my mouth. I am in a great deal of pain and discomfort. Get. It. Out. NOW._

"Ooohhhhhh…!" everyone muttered in understanding while L rolled his eyes, pointing to the words 'pain' and 'now' on the screen.

"Alrighty then L!" Matsuda said jovially, "I'll just get that for you!" Matsuda made to grab the stick impaled in the apple, only to be stopped by a huge outcry of "NO!", as well as L's gurgled, "ooooooo!"

"Ah, right. Clumsy. I forgot!" Matsuda muttered sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as his face turned pink.

L made an impatient, pained noise, causing Mr. Yagami to hastily step forward, saying, "I'll get that out for you L; I've had two kids and plenty of experience getting caught objects out of mouths." Everyone cast Light a furtive glance, wondering what he had ever gotten caught in his mouth (it was one of those bouncy balls! Muhahahahah!).

Mr. Yagami carefully grasped the wooden stick of the caramel apple while Light hovered behind him and L clenched the arms of his computer chair.

"On the count of four L, alright?" Mr. Yagami said with a slight smile, bracing one hand against L's bony shoulder.

"One…two…_yank!"_ As all proven parents did, Mr. Yagami pulled the apple from L's mouth before he could bite down nervously on it on 'three'… and, unfortunately, before Light had a chance to move out of the way of his father's elbow.

"YEEEOOOOWWWWWWWW!!"

"OOOOOOWWWWWIIIIEEEE!!"

Two plaintive screams of pain were heard, 1.782 seconds apart. The first scream was executed by L as two of his baby teeth(don't worry, I know what I'm typing) were ripped forcibly out. The other scream was uttered by Light a second and some later as his father's elbow, propelled by the force of yanking the apple out of L's mouth, bashed Light squarely in the mouth.

"Waaahhhh! OOOHHH! Oouuucchhhh! _Daaaaaddddd!!"_ Light yowled, dancing around in a haze of pain with his hand covering his mouth, the chain causing the rolling computer chair L sat situated on to go rolling after him as L convulsed in his own pain. (hahahahah… funny/sad image)

"Oooohhhh, uuuuuhhhh, ooowwwwwwwiiieeeee….!" L whimpered and yelped from behind his own hands, sitting hunched over even more than usual in evident pain as he went whizzing around the room in his chair due to Light's pain-dance.

"AAAAAAHHHH!! THEY DIED!" Matsuda screamed hysterically, "IT WAS KIRA!" Thankfully, Mogi calmly slapped Matsuda in the face, bringing him to his senses.

Awiza crouched down infront of L, looking nervous. Mr. Yagami semi-yelled, "Boys! Calm down and let me see your mouths so we can get you taken care of!"

Both geniuses slowly ceased their painful exclamations, and removed their hands from their mouths. Urgh. It wasn't pretty. Both of the young men had bloody mouths, and no one could tell if they were missing any teeth.

"Emergency dentist visit, boys." Mr. Yagami declared with one look at them.

In a matter of moments, the two pained boys were shoved in a nondescript car and rushed to the dentist clinic courtesy of Mr. Yagami and Watari, leaving the rest of the team at HQ to continue with their work.

Hurried to one of the back examination rooms by a dental hygienist assistant, the boys were placed into those creepy dentist chairs and told to wait. The two older men were standing nervously by said creepy chairs, hoping the poor boys wouldn't need dentures(Snort- that'd be too funny).

A man in a dentist's green gown/scrubs (what are those called?) walked into the room and introduced himself as Dr. Gregorwich.

After quickly rinsing out the protesting geniuses' mouths, he found that Light had bit his cheek(cause of his blood) and chipped two of his front most teeth. "We''ll need to put him under to stitch up the cheek and fix his chips." The dentist informed Mr. Yagami.

L, on the other hand, was an odd case. Watari had freaked out when the dentist had told him that L had lost two teeth and knocked a third loose (cause of his blood), but then became relieved and perplexed when he revealed that L had only lost/damaged his remaining baby teeth.

When Watari inquired why L still had some of his baby teeth at such a late age, the dentist shrugged, saying, "It's just like this for some people. His teeth aren't bad- though there are three cavities that need to filled in his adult teeth before they rot the teeth and force a need for a root-canal. Let's just take care of this now, shall we?"

And that was how Light and L found themselves waking up some two hours later in the creepy dentist chairs, feeling very oddly light-headed…and giggly.

**TO BE CONTINUED!** Next chapter: the effects of laughing gas-what do L and Light talk about when under the effects of laughing gas, and what do the Beatles have to do with mashed potatoes and Kira? What will L make the investigation team do that makes Matsuda cry? Why does Light declare that he will now pee-pee? Why am I asking all these questions!?

Author's notes: Yes! It is my first two-shot (victory music plays). Actually, it was going to be another one-shot, but it was getting a little long. Expect ch. 2 within 2minutes to 2days(hahah, I didn't even mean for that many 2's…)

Haha, I liked this one! I thought of this first when I wondered to myself, "hm, L eats sweets…if he gets laughing gas at the dentist…hmmm" I have had laughing gas and other strong pain meds, so I think I can describe their actions accurately enough. What happened to make me have these laugh-inducing meds (yes, they make one laugh) you may ask? You'll have to read the second chapter to find out!

Anyways, please review or I will cry like this: :..(

But, if you do review, I will dance and smile like this: !%&%^^#***###### :)

R&R s'il ta plait!


	2. Chapter 2

**FIRST OF ALL:** When I ended the first chapter of this, I typed a message in French for the heck of it: S'il ta plait. Someone attempted to correct me with the popular: S'il vous plait. That would be correct if I were talking to you all FORMALLY or if you were all reading this _at the same time._ The "s'il ta plait" was directed at the singular and informal 'you' of the one person reading this fanfiction, since I doubt groups of you get together to read this at same time. To be clearer in my future French usage, I will specify whom I am speaking to. For example, when I type what I will at the end of this chapter, it will mean, 'thank you very much for your time, my wonderful and attractive friends. Have a good day!' That will be plural, which needs the 'vous', since 'vous' means formal and/or plural 'you.' Got it? Good. And, yes, I know that I said ;you guys' in my A/N. I didn't take French for years and years for nothing. My old French teacher would be pleased.–growls- No hard feeling unsigned user, all right? Just on my period and L took my tampons…for Matsuda's nosebleed.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own Death Note, nor Jello, nor a quiet Chihuahua(that is so much fun to spell!)

Alrighty then!

**Ch. 2 (The horror of the after affects)**

And that was how Light and L found themselves waking up some two hours later in the creepy dentist chairs, feeling very oddly light-headed…and giggly.

"Huuummmm? Who said candy canes?" L muttered groggily as he woke up in the creepy dentist chair. He looked around the now-fuzzy and pretty colored room, searching for the speaker of the candy canes.

"Mommy… I don't wannnnnaa…..uuuuggghhhh…" was how Light woke up, whining and looking for a way to get out of whatever his 'mommy' (snorts) was trying to get him to do.

L turned his head towards Light, and after two minutes of staring at him blankly, finally saw him, "Heeeeeyy, hey Liiigghhhttt…" L mumbled past the cotton in his mouth in a sing-song voice that made the detective sound even more like a pedophile, "did your mooommyy bring caaandy caaaanes…?"

Light flopped on to his side in his own creepy chair to look at L, having a hard time focusing on the blurry, pastel-colored detective, "NO," Light said rather loudly and childishly past his own cotton-stuffed mouth, "She brought Sayu! I don't wanna play with her! Uhhhh….nooo… no dolls…"Light flailed In his chair against the imaginary mother and little sister, evidently fending off dolls being pressed against him.

"Light-kun is silly," L giggled (cute!).

"n-no I'm not.." Light slurred, ending his sentence in a giggle of his own.

Both of the hailed geniuses were found by Watari and Mr. Yagami a few moments later, giggling like toddlers.

"Uuhh, boys?" Mr. Yagami asked weakly, having rarely heard his own son laugh and never hearing L laugh, let alone giggle like two-year-olds.

Watari smiled indulgently, happy to see the two serious boys so unrestrictedly cheerful, even if it was only chemical-induced.

"It is just the laughing gas," Dr. Gregorwich informed the two older men as he walked in through another door (mysterious passageways?), "They may act goofy for awhile until the gas wears off, and as the Vicoden works through their systems for the pain." He slapped two prescriptions into each parental figure's hand; one for a weeks' worth of pain killers(Vicoden), and one for two weeks' worth of antibiotics (their mouths were cut up, so they could get infections like I did…not fun).

"By the way," The dentist asked suddenly, "Why are the boys chained together?"

Mr. Yagami answered(lied) easily, "They were playing with some handcuffs and lost the key. Silly, huh?"

And with that, the two young men were half-walked, half-carried to the car and driven back to HQ , after getting their prescriptions filled of course.

Light's head lolled back as the car stopped in front of HQ, and L took to staring at his hand, giggling occasionally. The back car door opened, and Mr. Yagami appeared, "Alright boys, time to get out." He said briskly, reaching in for L's arm, which was closest. L, however, flapped his arms indignantly, seemingly offended by whatever his drugged-up mind had seen Mr. Yagami as doing wrong.

"Oh, come on!" Mr. Yagami sighed in exasperation, making to at least get the detective unbuckled. Bad move. L flailed even worse than before, attempting to bite the police chief, even though it would actually be hard to do so past the cotton.

"Urgh!" Mr. Yagami exclaimed, quickly removing his arm from the car, "Watari, could you help me out here?"

"So sorry, but I've become trapped," came the old man's muffled voice, and upon investigation of the other side of the car, Mr. Yagami found that his son had somehow managed to entangle himself and Watari in his and the driver's side's seatbelts.

"Hehehehehe…" Light giggled, "can't maaaake meee nooow, caaan yooouuu moooommmy…?"

"What are you..?" Mr. Yagami began to question, then decided against it. He quickly pulled out his cell phone and called the investigation room.

"Hello?" answered Awiza's voice.

'_Thank the lord it wasn't Matsuda.'_ Mr. Yagami thought with relief, "It's me, Yagami. We need you and Mogi to help us carry the boys… And Matsuda can hold the doors open for us."

"Carry them?" came Awiza's confused and concerned voice, "Are they alright? Are they unconscious?"

"No, " Mr. Yagami replied with a sigh, "They're awake alright, they just… aren't cooperating."

"Huh?"

"They are goofy from the dentist's laughing gas."

"Oohhhhhh. Okay, we'll be right down."

A few moments of L licking his hand in apparent enjoyment and Light referring to Watari as 'Mommy' later, and the three other members of the team arrived at the car.

"Uh, who should I…grab?" Awiza asked with evident unease.

"L is biting, so You help Watari with Light while Mogi and I get L." Mr. Yagami said bluntly, motioning him to the other side of the car.

"Alright," Awiza replied with palpable relief that the other, much larger man would get to help with the insane detective.

"L," Mogi said in a low, calm voice as he crouched down next to L's car door, "What are you licking there?"

L stopped for a moment in coating his hand with saliva to reply with a large, eerie smile, "It's the woooorld'ss mossst deliciouuuussss caaandyyy caaanne…" He then resumed his licking.

Mogi blinked, then coaxed, "Well, I've got the_ universe's_ most delicious candy cane here." He searched his pockets for a moment and brought out his keys. He jingled them in front of L, and L, seemingly mesmerized, ceased his licking to stare avidly at the keys.

Mr. Yagami motioned for Mogi to unbuckle L, and he did so, keeping his keys up in plain view, though out of the panda detective's reach. "Come on, L," he said, jingling the keys again much like one would taunt a kitten,"You can have these once we get into the workroom, come on."

L moved slowly and drunkenly in the rather large car, crawling to Mogi. He swiped L out of the car, tossed his keys to Mr. Yagami, and stood up, L situated on his hip like an overgrown baby. (me: muahahahah! Too much!)

L looked bemusedly around for his missing 'candy cane', his head lolling, while Mogi hoisted him up a little higher. Mr. Yagami stared at Mogi like this :O and asked, "H-how did you do that?"

Mogi just shrugged and answered, "I worked at a zoo before I became a police officer." Mr. Yagami now looked like this at Mogi O.O, watching the large, serious man hold the world's greatest detective while said detective tugged on his hair, murmuring, 'Heeeeyyyy, hey miiissstterrrrr, where didddd maaa caaaaaaaaannddyyyyy goooooo…?"

On the other side of the car, Awiza had managed to unbuckle/untangle Watari and Light, and was now practically trying to wrestle Light out of the car. "Darn it, Light!" Awiza grumbled, Matsuda and Watari hovering anxiously in the background as they watched.

Awiza finally managed to grab Light's foot, but the boy wouldn't allow himself to be pulled out of the car, "Nooooo! No tea partiiiiiiieeeesss!" Light whined, latched onto the interior of the car.

"Urgh! Matsuda," Awiza called, "Change of plans! You help me with Light and Watari can get the door!" Awiza was thinking of how much younger Matsuda was than Watari, and thus much more able to help him.

Matsuda rushed forward, eager to help. "Alright, you get on the other side of the car (think of the chain, people…) and grab him under the arms and pull, okay? I'll push from this side."

Matsuda hurried over to the other side of the car. He climbed over the seats to where Light was, grabbed him from under the armpits, much to Light's surprise, then called past Light's shoulder, "Alright, I've got him! I'll pull, you push, NOW!"

Matsuda tugged and Awiza pushed, and with their combined force they managed to pry Light out of the car. "Okay," Matsuda panted as he held the squirming Light pinned in his arms in a vice-grip, "g-grab his feet, Awiza, and let's get him inside."

And thus the two geniuses were taken inside, one carried with apparent ease like a baby, and the other by his feet and torso like a wild animal. Maybe the team members should have switched places when retrieving the boys?

One cramped elevator ride later and the team tiredly made their way into the investigation room, dropping the boys onto the couch in the corner facing the wall. To the team's delight, after being forcibly given their prescriptions the boys cuddled up on the couch and fell asleep. Hurray! Now they could get back to work!

The semi-traumatized team worked in peace and quiet for about four hours (Yes, they would sleep a lot, and I also slept like that), by which time it was getting later in the evening. The day was winding down, and the team was joking about their adventure getting the young men out of the car and listening to what happened at the dentist, when they heard a noise coming from the couch.

L popped his head up from the over the side of the couch, and gave the team such an L-ish stare that they wondered if his pain medication had worn off. It was proven to them that he was indeed still under the influence of the meds, however, when he yelled grogily at Mogi, "Yoouu took maa candy! Givvit!" He held out his hand over the edge of the couch childishly, demanding the 'candy.'

"So sorry," Watari supplied quickly, "but you and Light will be on liquids for a couple of days. You may have jello-water, though." He moved out of the room, deciding to get L and Light some strawberry jello-water(Mmmm, I love that when I'm sick).

L screwed up his face as if about to cry, but then suddenly looked back down at the couch, seeing something that the rest of the team couldn't. Light then popped up, looked at L in confusion, then over at then team, evidently searching for someone. His eyes didn't seem to find anyone, and he announced to the room at large in a sleep-filled voice, "I have to go pee-pee…"

Not getting an answer from the quiet room, Light raised his voice some and called out, "Mooommy! I have to go pee-pee _now_!"

"Me tooooo!" L chorused in a whiny voice.

Everyone looked at each other, wanting someone else to speak up. Everyone turned their eyes on the lowest-ranking member; Matsuda. Recognizing defeat, Matsuda ventured across the room, bent over the couch and asked in a lowered voice, "Can't you two just go find the bathroom on your own…?" Before the question was finished, he knew the answer was 'no' from the confused looks on the pair's faces.

"Right," Matsuda sighed, "can you walk?"

"YES!" They answered eagerly, both getting up so fast that they wobbled dangerously. They latched onto each other's shoulders for support, looking so freaking adorable that Matsuda let out an involuntary, "Awwww!"

Now semi-stable, they looked at Matsuda as expectantly as one on a large amount of Vicoden can, waiting for him to lead the way.

"Alright," Matsuda said awkwardly, aware that everyone in the room besides the two boys were going to burst out laughing at his situation the moment he left the room, "This way, then." He grabbed L's hand, dragging the wobbly pair out of the room. Oh, yes, the team were laughing their heads off, easily heard in the hallway.

"Come on," Matsuda grumbled, pulling them towards the nearest bathroom. Upon arriving, though, they found that it had a sign on it that read 'Out of order.' Light whined loudly, "I gotta goooo!" doing the potty dance while L nodded in agreement, sucking his thumb.

Matsuda remembered that L had last gone to the bathroom shortly before his apple incident, many hours ago, and Light had not used the bathroom since that morning. He had a sudden vision of a large puddle of pee on the floor, and said in a slightly panicked voice, "Alright! There's another on the next floor!" He hurried to the elevator, the handcuffed pair behind him tripping from his haste. He pressed the call button for the elevator, threw the two in, and hit the button for the next level up. He practically sprinted down the hallway when the door opened.

He turned the corner, and finally reached the bathroom door. No 'out of order' sign, thank goodness. He turned around to face the boys, saying, "Alright! Here's the bathro-"

He was interrupted, however, by L. L said, "Uh-oh…" and pointed at Light's pants. Matsuda watched, horrified, as a large wet mark appeared on the front of Light's pants, growing larger and larger.

"No!" Matsuda cried, "We almost made it! Nooo!" He sobbed, causing the other two to cry as well in their chemical-induced state of confusion.

At hearing the other two crying, Matsuda stopped, remembering that L still had yet to pee his pants. He grabbed L's hand, and ran into the bathroom, Light tagging along as well. A few akward moments later in which L used the bathroom as by himself and did not pee on the floor(Hurray! Everyone clap!), Matsuda sighed in relief. L had had peed himself. But, there was still the matter of Light, who sat on the edge of the tub, oblivious of the huge pee-mark on his pants.

Wanting to pass the task of dealing with this akward task to someone else, he fished out his cell phone and called the investigation room.

"Hello?" Someone answered. (You don't know, hahah!)

"It's Matsuda." He replied, holding the phone pressed against his face and shoulder as he helped L with the 'tricky' button on his pants(it's very difficult, don't you know).

"Oh, we were wondering if you had gotten lost or something," the other voice snickered.

"NO! We're not lost, we are on the next floor up's bathroom! I need someone to come and take care of them!" Matsuda exclaimed, attempting to help L wash his hand with the soap instead of eating it.

"What do you mean? They are your responsibility at the moment." The voice replied.

"B-but, you don't understand!," matsuda floundered, "It's Light! He-well…he wet himself." Matsuda blushed with embarrassment for himself, Light, L, and the whole task force.

"….." There was a moment of silence, then a new voice replied, "Hello? This is Yagami here, Awiza told me that I had something to attend to ?"

"Yes." Matsuda answered with relief, "Light has, um, wet himself. He cuoldn't make it to the bathroom in time and now he's a mess. Could you come take care of him?"

"…Uh, um, but you're already there," The man said weakly, not wanting to deal with this at all.

"Oh, come on!" Matsuda half-yelled into the receiver, "You're his dad for goodness sake! I can't do this! At least come up here and _help_ me!"

"Alright, alright," Mr. Yagami sighed, "as long as I don't have to do this alone…" With that he hung up, informing his remaining team that he had to go sort out a problem. From the snorts of laughter that followed him, he suspected that they knew what awaited him.

Arriving at the bathroom, Mr. Yagami held 2 sets of clean pajamas and underwear, unsure of whether L had also gotten into some sort of mess.

He opened the door, finding both boys sitting on the edge of the tub, his son's lap covered in a humongous pee-stain and L 's face, hands, and clothes coated in toothpaste.

Mr. Yagami looked questioningly at Matsuda, who rubbed the back of his neck in shame as he answered, "I turned my back for a moment and L grabbed the tooth-paste…"

"Okay," Mr. Yagami sighed, recognizing thisd sort of situation from when his children were much smaller, "They have to have a bath. Unlock the cuffs and help L get undressed while I start the bath and do Light."

Both men took a moment to mentally prepare themselves, then proceeded to strip the protesting and screaming young men. (Uh, that sounds really wrong…)

One bubble bath and fight about what in a bathroom was edible, and the pair were dressed in flannel pajamas and re-handcuffed.

"Is this really necessary?" Matsuda asked as he handed the key of the handcuffs to Mr. Yagami.

Mr. Yagami nodded, and asked, "What do you think L would do if when he was back to his normal self he found that he was not chained to Light?"

Matsuda shivered, then answered, "I don't want to think about it." (I do! He'd bite him! )

"Alright, time for bed," Mr. Yagami said, looking at his watch to see that it was 10:00, "Get up, boys, you've got to go take your medicine and get to sleep."

He motioned for the boys to get up off the floor where they were sitting in contentment. The two looked up in confusion, then L said, "Carry me."

Light chimed in, "Yeah! Carry me mommy! You always carry Sayu!" He accused, pointing to L who he evidently thought was Sayu.

"No!" Mr. Yagami sighed, looking at Matsuda for support. But, Matsuda just shrugged, too tired tio protest the Vicodened boys, and bent tot pick up L. Light, however, had different intentions.

"No! Hold me Mommy!" Light whined, holding up his arms for Matsuda. Matsuda looked taken aback at being referred to as Light's 'mommy', but released L and picked up Light, letting out a small grunt as he hoisted the genius up.

He looked at Light for a moment, still not believing he was in this situation, then asked, "Happy?"

Light smiled goofily, then rested his head on Matsuda's shoulder, murmuring something about bears and baseball.

Mr. Yagami had picked up the abandoned L before his distraught face gave way to tears. He was surprised by how light the detective was. L sniffed then stuck his thumb in his mouth, but not before asking, "Candy?"

"No."

………………… They were asleep. Thank. The. Lord. How in the world were they going to survive the next week!?

The following week proved to be insane. L and Light, while under the influence of Vicoden, acted very out of character, ranging from acting like giggling toddlers who insisted that everyone hold them (Misa was so happy she fainted), to acting as though the were in a different world where candy ands other random objects filled their minds, to getting downright dangerously violent. Everyone had bite marks by the time the week was up.

The last day that they took pain killers came and went, and the next day L and Light got up, wondering why their jaws felt so sore.

They dressed and made their way out to the work room, sitting down in their customary computer chairs and getting down to work. They soon became aware that the entire team was watching them, however. They turned around, L sitting in his peculiar way, his enormous, haunted eyes gazing at the team as if penetrating their souls. Light turned as well, arms crossed and cold and calculating caramel eyes sweeping the shocked faces.

"What is causing this hiatus in our work to catch Kira?" L asked in his emotionless voice, Light still just staring coldly at the group at large.

Matsuda made to speak, but Awiza cut him off, "Do you know the date?"

Light snorted, then stated confidently, "It's November the 21st."

Everyone exchanged glances, then Mr. Yagami said slowly, "No, it's the 27th."

A quick check by both resident geniuses later, and it was confirmed that it was indeed the 27th.

"How did we lose a week?" L wondered thoughtfully, a frown crossing his usually blank countenance.

"Yeah, what happened to us?" Light demanded.

The dentist situation, laughing gas, and Vicoden were explained, as well as the fact that they both had to take the antibiotics for another week.

"Did we… we didn't do anything _odd_, did we?" Light asked apprehensively, L looking worried as well.

Watari pointed to a stack of security tapes and popped one in. There was static for a moment, then everyone could see on the TV screen Matsuda holding L by the hand and Light trailing behind thanks to the chain, just arriving at a bathroom door: TV Matsuda began to talk, and then was interrupted by L saying in a childish voice, 'uh-oh.' L pointed to Light's pants, where a huge wet mark was appearing, growing larger. Then everyone on tape cried, Light and L wailing. Watari stopped the tape, switched it out with another, and pressed play:

TV Light was being restrained by Awiza and Matsuda, violently bucking and kicking while Mogi held onto L, who was actually scratching and _biting_ the large man. L screamed exceedingly loudly, "YOU ARE KIRA you feaking _swine_! You took my candy and killed the whole world for theirs! ADMIT IT NOW!" Light replied, spit flying from his mouth as he strained against Awiza and Matsuda, "YOU LIE! I am NOT Kira you FREAK! YOU a PERVERT, chaining us together, I bet you just _love _it! I hate you, you stole MY candy!" L bit down hard on Mogi, causing him to release L, who scrambled in fury towards Light, trying to land a lethal kick. He was tackled, however, by Mogi and restrained again.

This tape was popped out by watari and replaced with another as Light and L sat numbly in their chairs, too shocked to stop him. The tape played: Light and L were dressed in matching flannel pajamas, lying on their bed cuddled together, cooing and mumbling unintelligibly as Mr. Yagmi and Mogi walked tiredly from their room, turning off the lights as they left…

...the tape fast forwarded, and Light and L were lying down by the couch in the investigation room, still in the flannel pajamas, looking stoned out of their minds. L was staring at the ceiling, a half-smile on his face, chuckling and trying to catch something with his hands that wasn't there. "Come back Maaaarrrrriiiooooo… I neeeeeed a mushroooom…" He crooned. Light, meanwhile, was on his stomach tugging on Awiza's pant leg, "Heeey, hey you! You're reaaaalllly taaallll…. Do you live in a birdie's nest? Is Big Bird your kid? Heeeyyy…..heeeeeyy… I want to get some ice cream, get me some ice cream Mr. Birdie…You're purty Mr. Birdie…" The tape stopped, and Watari turned to look at the two geniuses.

L and Light looked absolutely mortified, their faces turning red.

"Let's watch some more!" Matsuda cheered.

Two death glares were sent his way.

END

Author's Notes: How did you guys like it? It didn't go in the direction I originally wanted. Still embarrassingly funny, though! And, yes, I had to make Light pee himself again; it is just too funny! Muhahahah! _Please R&R!_

Merci beacoup pur votre temps, mes amis merveilleux et attirants. Ayez une bonne journée!

That means all of you.


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